Have you ever had days when you sense everything in and around you is so ethereal? The past few days for me have been a neither here nor there feeling. At first I thought I was having days of having my head up my ass but it felt nothing remotely close to that. It was as if something was going on around me. Something I could not see but the feelings I felt, were something I could say, was not of this world. I felt so peaceful. When I moved, it felt like I did so with such ease. Like everything was going in slo-mo. I had to run a few errands and wondered if I was well enough to drive, not knowing what was going on.
As I drove, I noticed others drove with more patience compared to what I normally see. As I entered the store, people turned and smiled which was not the norm. Shoppers were not rushing. That was when I wondered if I should go home. I also wondered if I was having a medical issue. Oh, the damndest things I think of when things are in alignmentt. In the end, I just rolled with the flow. Not giving it another thought, I finished getting what I went in for. I happened to get one of the self-serve registers that was acting up. I didn’t say any cuss words like I normally do. Even while checking out, the automated voice that I always want to give a throat punch to did not bother me. I felt nothing but peace. The drive home was tedious, but what else was new? I found myself wondering why this lane always had issues. One either went straight or turned right into a store’s driveway, and yet, here we sat, waiting. Patiently.
Once home and after I got stuff put away somewhat and bundled my shopping bags into one, I was confused with this aura of peacefulness I still felt. I left everything else and got on my PC to talk to someone. I explained how things were going that day. She usually had a handle on things like this. I sat there while giving my girls their treats and seeing what she had sent me.
Okay, I will admit I do look at my horoscope daily. Sometimes it fits, sometimes it will be like the day I had before or after, after reading it. I don’t put much stock in it. She asked me if I had realized how the planets were aligned, which I did not. She told me that the peace I felt was because of it. I admit I did roll my eyes a bit but then I dug into researching it. “Hmm” I said. I then went on to reading my emails then got up to finish putting stuff away and putting the bags back into my car. What else the research on this told me, I had to take some time to mull over while I finished up doing what I had to.
What I read said how someone from my past or my present would come to make amends with me whether they were a past loved one, family or a friend. I thought of who it would be. It would not be Bobby. I had dropped him as a friend on my FB. It’s like he was stalking me. Everything was all about him and not one I wanted in my life. I knew it would not be Kris. He knew better than to come to my house. So I could not picture who it would be. Then Al popped up in my mind. He wanted to be in my life right after Mel died but I was not in a good place and he picked up on that. He never came back and I was good with that. He was not someone I would want a steady diet of having nothing in common. So that would leave ones who had left my life many years ago and the only way I would feel their presence is spiritually with their souls. In any case, I relished the feeling of peace. I had never felt so good. It was In the evening that I thought of my friend who had been sending me emails of his journey. He called it his adventure. I missed writing to him every day. And if I did not hear from him for a while, I grew worried, sending him wellness vibes. I cannot explain feeling how I do about someone I have never met but it is such an easy, lovely, peaceful feeling. I then wondered if I was feeling what he was feeling. Stranger things have happened.
My friend and I had much in common. I could feel what he was not saying in between the lines as he wrote of his past . I knew what it felt like to be rejected, used or talked about behind my back. I always wondered if I had done something to make them react as they had. Things were always good at home. It was what they did and what they said while they were at work or with others. It is something to be married and still feel single, doing everything myself.
I’ve never faked my love for a single soul, however, they never got “all” of me. I was saving that for one special man, my “home”, whoever he was. That is why I take betrayal personally. I could never understand how anyone could act like nothing was wrong to someone’s face then do what they would do on their own. Actions prove who someone is and words only show who they pretend to be. I guess they thought they would never be seen by my friends. I remember how that kick in my gut felt when they told me what they had seen. My doors that were constantly open were then closed. I did not want people to climb any walls that I had built around myself. I much preferred them to knock as a sign of respecting what I had made to protect myself. I am still hopeful that one day when I am not paying attention, love will show up, and I will meet that person, the one who will rescue the last piece of my heart, giving it life again.
Funny how a day of such bliss can send me off going down all avenues whether the planets were aligning or not. What came into my thoughts had come from the words I read. The peacefulness, the calmness I felt. And wondering why the universe would have me feel them, also wondering who had sent them my way. Either or I was most thankful and filled with gratitude. Namaste
LexiMe - My journey of faith 