Whodathunk

A few simple words replied to a question asked. Who knew what would come from that. It was when I replied that they replied back. I asked if this person wanted to stay in contact. Just a few lines discussing what we believed. I was surprised when they agreed to stay in contact. I mean, I was not well educated as they seemed to be. They could talk at length about the things they did. I figured they would get sick of me with my simple way with words. I was not one that anyone would want my opinion on anything unless it was medical for humans or animals. I was not one to do mechanical, plumbing nor carpentry. I went deeper which not many liked. I went deep into people’s souls with their words. I wanted to know their hopes and dreams. It was as if my hand rested upon their heart. Usually when people discoverd that about me, they backed off. With the little we have talked, I could tell you this was a good person and I did not frighten them off. I don’t ask personal questions. I’ve always figured if anyone wanted me to know something, they would tell me. It has never been my place to stick my nose where it did not belong.

I, myself, was shocked to even ask if this person wanted to stay in contact with me. I had never done anything like that before however it was what I saw in between the lines. I figured they were being cautious as I was but I took the chance. I was not disappointed that I did. It is rare to find someone who felt as I did.

We seemed to have similar events that happened in our lives. I found we could talk about anything. Of course, they were more thorough with their words than I was. I cannot say if it is because of my dyslexia but I tend to say the same thing but in different forms. However, I found this person cautiously approachable, educated and well read having a broad and deep understanding of various subjects and ideas, I was still surprised when they agreed to stay in contact. I can only hope I do not disappoint them with me being just me.

We’ve had many conversations via email . We have broached many subjects. They have proven time and time again that they are more knowledgable than I will ever be but I am good with that. I learn from them and I think they don’t even realize they are teaching me as we talk. I am such a between-the-lines reader. I learn from them the things that make a person real. That may be hard for me to define. To find someone who does not have to have the latest rage as far as clothing or the newest gadgets but who lives with what they have accumulated or could afford. Someone who also realized that one did not need what was not important to their lives.

They live in a magical house. Magical because it is a larger-than-life tree house that they have built from the ground up. They live off grid and have their own way of running water and electrics which I think is pretty unique. It has been a very long time since I lived like that but I know it is doable. I know the stairs would be a problem for me as I am aging and wonder if it is or will be that way for them. I also do not see any green for a small lawn, flowers, fruit trees or a garden for consumption purposes, however it is an impressive place showing what one can do with what they have. If I could live where I would be happy it would be a bit away from the city but not really far into the country. I would have a ranch style house with a screened porch with a well, sewer and enough land to grow fruit trees, a good sized vegetable garden and of course flowers.

We have talked for about a month now. The further we talk, the more I have found my old self coming out of the cocoon I had wrapped myself up in for years. I am such a private person. I don’t trust easily. I keep to myself. Even my neighbors know nothing of my personal life unless I share it. I also have a problem “clicking” with people. I am a country girl living in the city. I admit I am comfortable yet uncomfortable. Comfortable yet still hoping that the “home” I’d always searched for would greet me someday to complement my “comfortableness”. That is when I realized that I was done searching. I find that is true with anything. People always looking for answers to the questions they’ve always had. If one stops looking, the answers will come to them. So that is what I did. In doing so, I still missed what I longed for. I told myself to suck it up. Who was I to get something I wanted.

I was told by some friends that to find someone to share my life with, I had to put myself out there. I asked them if that wasn’t like shopping for a companion and if so, I would pass. Buying someone’s attention was not my idea of a companion. Then they said I could dress myself up and see if I attracted anyone. I laughed at that one. I told them my companion would have to take me warts and all. I asked if all women were that way. The answer I got was not what I was expecting…..they said yes. It reminded me of mutton hawking lamb which I have seen a lot of. I said that they were either desperate or had not a lick of sense. My mother refreshed her makeup numerous times a day. My oldest sister went overboard with her idea of makeup. Me, I am a wash and go girl. Not very pretty or fancy now is it.

They felt sorry for me. I told them not to. At least I am not faking a relationship to not be alone. I am not making love to a man while I fantasize being with someone else. I am also not putting a fake smile on my face when the occasion calls for it. And I am not telling someone how much I love them while wishing I had someone else. I think that is why they like to go out nights drinking and they keep themselves so busy with anything that they don’t have time to think.

Anyway, I have enjoyed all of our conversations with the one who lives across the country. As I said, when they talk, I find myself looking off and thinking, “Why didn’t I think of that?” The subjects spoken of, A lot of their talks are way over my head so to speak, but I enjoy every conversation. It has woke me up instead of me staying wrapped up in my cocoon. It has made me want to step outside of that, to start to live again, to feel again. So whodathunk anyone would want to share their world with me. I am most blessed to find a new friend.