Is Life Really Meant To Be Enjoyed.

You weren’t put here to be happy all of the time. So no, life isn’t really meant to be happy. Show me someone who constantly pursues their own happiness at all costs, and I’ll show you one of the most myopically-selfish ingrates to walk the planet. Chances are that person doesn’t really know what it’s like to be happy, because they have never really felt unhappy.

But neither is life meant to be unhappy. You don’t score cosmic brownie points for playing the martyr or for forsaking the more important things that you love for others or for the general sake of society. There is a limit to how much unhappiness you should feasibly tolerate.

You can’t have happiness without unhappiness. There must always be a point of reference. The point of reference comes in many forms—loneliness, isolation, grief, despair, helplessness, and deprivation, to name only a few. If you lack that point of reference—if you’ve never felt spiritual hunger—you might be able to experience pleasure in the hedonistic sense of the word; but you will never know what it’s like to live with a full heart.

When I look back on my life thus far, I cannot ever say that the big things made me happy. It wasn’t the travels abroad, the brand-new-shiny car, the promotion at work, or the expensive designer dress. It was about the people who have deeply and selflessly touched my life.

When I was at my dad’s and we worked together on the chores, we had many talks.   That meant more to me than anything he or anyone could have bought me.  We didn’t go out to eat.  We dug something out of the freezer to have for our suppers.  We didn’t have to buy veggies.  We would walk out to the garden to get them to go along with our meals.  But the talks, life lessons I call them, that’s what was the most important to me.  Memories that I could carry with me forever.    

I think back on those days, and I am overwhelmed with a poignant, reflective happiness. My father’s kind gestures remind me of all of the other things that he had done for me. The smaller things, like always being around to talk on the phone.  The person who can appreciate those finer memories will always have a happy heart, even when the going gets really tough.

Life is meant to find meaning in our relationships with others. Life is meant to feel appreciation for all of the small things so gladly given and never take them for granted. To find happiness in all we do. And to find happiness with that someone special.