Melancholy Baby

I believe that everything happens for a reason.   People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.   We should all start to live before we get too old.   Fear is stupid.   So are regrets.

I think it is this time of year when many of us have thoughts that go back to our pasts. I cannot say why. A song, certain smells, anything that twigs a memory, and again, this time of year, when dormancy starts to take over for the season. Why is it when old man winter starts his journey into our lives, our thoughts, from years ago, good or bad, makes us realize that it is what has made us who we are.

I find on these days when I am having these thoughts I tend to play mello music which I believe further provokes my own thoughts. Not because I am going back to some times when things were not good. There were many good times. I think it is because of all my friends, myself included, this is the time of year when we have all lost the ones we loved, cared for, worked with. I listen to others share their thoughts with me. I try to comfort them without it being a constant. It isn’t because I get tired of them talking about something that can never be righted. It is because we have to pick ourselves up by the seat of our britches and keep on keeping on. I have known more loss than I tell anyone. I have dealt with it and moved on. They seem to have a harder time with theirs. The lyrics, “I’ve got to make new memories or the old ones are going to kill me” comes to mind when I am talking to the ones I try to help. It is true. And that is just what I am going to do, make new memories. I am hopeful someone will want to make them with me, yet I have not found him.

I listen to all kinds of music. If I have a need to get something done, I play music with a fast beat. I love the old songs. I cannot tell you any of the new music on the radio. I play music that makes love to my soul or fits my mood at that moment. Nighttime, before bed, I play some soul-soothing music. No matter what tunes I have on, the lyrics make me think, of someone I have always missed. Either or, I sleep. I never think of anything from my past while drifting off. I think of a certain someone whom I hope to love one day. I fall asleep with a smile and the promise of wonderful dreams.