Just read an article on why younger men prefer older women. The article goes on to say that older women are more self-assured, offer space, devotion and herself which is true. I cannot speak for all older women but I am more playful, relaxed, know what I want, and am not afraid of saying what I want. Emotional stability and lack of sexual hang-ups are other traits. We are also not afraid to take over and lead the way. And we also realize that intimacy is not all about sex.
I am fortunate that I have never had the hangups that others have. When I love it is completely and passionately. It just comes naturally to me. I feel blessed I am one to be able to just let go and enjoy. I have been with a younger and older man. There was no difference. It came down to attitude.
If one just lets go of control then that is when the most magnificent sex happens. I also have to admit that what they call make up sex, is divine. Too many think sex should be this way or that way when all it really needs to be is just open and honest and felt deep within the depths of one’s soul. I have also heard of men who watch porn then try to do what they watched. That is really laughable. Come on guys, it’s not real. And another realization? A smart woman will know you have been watching porn by the way you interact with her, she will know fake when it happens, so pack it in and just be yourself if you really want a good time. I have also known couples who have to watch porn to get the “visual turn ons” of seeing another couple having sex. If that is what turns you on, that is your choice. I much prefer to look at the man I love. My imagination will do the rest.
Intimacy is not always about sex. It is how a person looks at their partner, the hand-holding, the arm around the shoulder, the kiss, the hugs, the laughter, the being able to talk about anything and the cuddling in bed. That is the best foreplay to me. And I have to add, if they know how to run a vacuum or cook, that also works for me. If sex should happen because of these things, then great. If not, also great.
With everywhere I have lived and with the people who I have been around, I have found that where the man feels less than a man because he cannot perform on cue, well women also have the same issues. For lack of a better word(s), women cannot always “get it up”. And if one partner feels like making love but the other does not, one can still satisfy their partner. Do I have to draw a picture? I find it to be the most sensual act that I could perform on my partner. It is nothing to be shameful of. It can be such a turn on.
The couple could try tantric sex but most people are afraid to try anything new. That is when it takes a couple to want to better their sex lives. There are many different positions if a couple is comfortable in doing so. And it does not always have to be in a bed. One can find pleasure anywhere. I have also found that when one or the other gets tired of sex with their partner, they tend to blame it on the other. And when someone else who is not their partner speaks to them in ways they ”think” they have been wanting or missing, the wandering begins. That solves nothing. And notice I said “think”.
People who are not happy in their lives need to understand they have a void in themselves that only they can fill. No other sweet-talking or gorgeous man or woman is going to fill it. I know many men and women who have kicked themselves for losing what they had by thinking that someone else could “kiss it and make it all better.”
Then there are those who are afraid to let it all loose for many reasons. It can be their physical size or shape, or their sexual bits, they may feel are not big enough, small enough, the list goes on. That is where letting go of control comes into play. Let go of every thought in your mind except for what you are feeling and if your partner can do the same, it’s a win-win situation. Age does not matter unless it is illegal. What does matter is if you both are ready to give up control and as the Nike ad says, just do it.
LexiMe - My journey of faith 