I can remember it clearly as if I was right back there in time. I was 8; he 10. Vacation Bible School. I was walking up the path to the church. We had had a storm and he was picking up branches that had fallen. He stood up and when I looked into his eyes, I saw the warmest soul. He had those boyish good looks. He was tall, had dark hair and the warmest eyes that twinkled with life. He talked an awfully lot for not knowing me but I remember how he made me feel. I felt so relaxed, safe in his presence. He did not act like a jerk as the other boys that were in my class at school did. I also met his sister while at bible school. She had the same demeanor. When the bible school was over I gave him the pencil case I had made.
I would ride my bike out to where he lived to visit with his sister. Their parents were not what I was used to. Her mother, “if I could have had a mother like that” is what I always thought. Their dad would always tease me and reminded me of my dad. I was so innocent then and was not used to people being kind to me. I would enjoy their company then I would start to pull back. I had to be careful not to let on what my home life was like. I rode out there one day not realizing it was lunch time. When they were getting ready to eat I tried to excuse myself and got ready to leave but their mother told me to sit down. Then she asked me if I liked corned beef. I had never had it before so I did not know what to say. She made me a sandwich which I was not used to either. I was a latchkey kid. I remember sitting there picking at the sandwich trying to figure out if I liked it but I also felt like a tomato in a pumpkin patch. I believe they could tell I was a fish out of water but they kept on talking about different things. He was never there.
So many years went by. In time I was living in the same town as he. I would see him on and off but he never knew I saw him. Always happy and he had the same smile and demeanor about him. The last time I actually spoke to him was 1996. He had shown up at a store where I was. I was happy to see him. He told me he still had the pencil case I had given him and then he told me how he never thought I would ever marry where I was so independent. He did not have to make it sound so condescending. My only thought was, “Well you didn’t ask me out now did you?” I thought about him for the next few days. He had always been single and the way he spoke to me that day, made me think that he had never worried about others’ feelings as he spoke to them, only his and how he felt. Perhaps that was how he talked to others.
After I had moved back to the states and years after that, I had made a Facebook account, he showed up under people I might know. I looked his page over and thought about sending a message to him but I didn’t. Many times I started a short letter to him. I cannot say how many times I started a short letter just to delete it. Over a year it was before I just said to hell with it and sent him one. And what made me think he would want to be friends. He was going gray and a little heavier but he still looked good.
It was one morning when he had sent back a message for me. I read it after a while and was pleasantly surprised. We talked on the phone. I had sent him a Christmas gift of a pen and pencil set. On the enclosed note I wrote that he could put that in MY pencil case. I guess it didn’t click with him. When we talked I asked him if he had put the set in my pencil case. He had put them on his desk at work. I think it surprised him that I had sent it. I had also sent his dog, Mason, a toy. Again, he knew not who had sent it. He sends me pics of Mason on and off but otherwise, nothing.
It was only in my later years that I realized that even though we were just kids, it was when I fell in love with him not knowing what love was. I am hopeful to always be his friend if he can get over himself.
LexiMe - My journey of faith 